J. Anthony Brown Books

BAPTISMAL NOTES
Due to the high cost of water, we can no longer bring the baptismal pool up to full. So during the baptism, Miss Wide Load Wallace will sit in the tub, bring it up to full, and we'll continue the baptism.

If you attended the Pastor's pool party last Sunday, it counts as a baptism.


GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENTS
This goes out to whom it may concern. The pastor says, "We know you don't read the Bible at work so don't read the funny pages at church...especially while standing in line for communion".

Last week's Church Theft Amnesty Day was a success. Returned were six choir robes, three collection plates, a Deacon, a speaker system...

People who park their raggedy cars next to the pastor's new Mercedes will be towed away. Don't say we didn't warn you. We're all the same in the eyes of the Man above-but not our cars.

In response to all the complaints we got last year, at this year's Easter egg hunt, the kids will look for "African-American" eggs instead of "colored" eggs.

This weekend the Competition of the World's Strongest Man was held. Mr. Wilburt Gut won when after three hours and fifteen minutes he successfully pulled Miss Wide Load Wallace away from a plate of chicken.


MEMBER ANNOUNCEMENTS
Sister Artell asks anyone who knows the whereabouts of her husband to tell him thanks for leaving.

Brother Bryant got a hook-up at the phone company. So this week you won't hear "the number you have reached is not in service" when you call the prayer line.


SICK AND SHUT-IN
Our prayers go out to the Reverend Seymour, the pastor of The Church on Wheels. Over the weekend the police put a boot on the church.

If you would like to get your name on the "Something Bad Is Gonna Happen Soon" Prayer List, please see Sister Price.

Anyone who plans to attend Zek Tucker's funeral this afternoon, don't be surprised by the wink and grin on his face. The funeral home would like everyone to know they were pushed for time and couldn't remove them.

Let us pray today not for the sick and shut-in, but for the people you are sick of who should be shut-in.

Rayford Johnson is in the hospital recovering from hip surgery. Our prayers go out to him because he went in the hospital complaining of chest pains.